beauty is only skin deep?

Last night Beau had control of the remote and instead of watching some sort of cheesy sci-fi channel or playing video games like he usually does, he flipped on something about Chris Rock talking about "black hair". Not like the hair that is the color black, but African American hair. I guess Chris Rock has two daughters and wanted to do a little research into the thing that will be a future part of their lives. I, being mixed with every other race in the world except for African American, look like a mostly white girl and have white girl hair. It is straight as a board and used to be thick before I had a baby. (now it is sadly thin) So I have never had to deal with exceptionally difficult hair, and when I got pregnant with a half black baby I was out of my mind with worry over what her hair would turn out like. Not out of vanity, don't get me wrong! I was afraid of being that white girl who doesn't know how to do her daughter's hair and she ends up with a crazy mess. Thank goodness for me she does not have very course hair, and lucky for her it looks like it is going to be exactly what I always wanted! Thick and wavy but blow drys straight if she wants it that way... and apparently this is what the rest of the African American community wants as well. I had no idea how much of this particular population is actually wearing fake hair! I knew some of them did, but of the many women who were interviewed ALL were wearing weaves! Not only that, but did you know these weaves come from women in India who sacrifice their hair to the Gods because long hair is a vanity? What do you think that does to our karma to wear someone's hair that was sacrificed in the name of vanity? Hmmm... but anyway. Not only that, these weaves start at $1000! And for what? To have more "white" looking hair.

I was fascinated and horrified all at the same time, and the whole while I was watching these women spread gobs of relaxer (a potent and damaging chemical used to straighten hair) on their head, spend thousands of dollars on weaves and basically spend their lives fighting with their hair, I couldn't stop thinking "what happened to loving who you are? when did we all stop thinking we are beautiful just as we were born?"

It's not just the African American community, it is everybody and every so often I find it starts to seep into my thoughts without me realizing it. The new "thing" around town is for all the girls to wear extensions that create thick and beautiful heads of hair that look always perfect and make me feel like my poor hair is severely lacking. And what about this Bridelplasty?? That silly show on E! with brides all competing for plastic surgery so they can look perfect on their wedding days. Now weddings are not only about having a huge extravagant celebration, but the bride must look completely perfect and flawless. The pressure!!!

The only thing I have to say about all of this is that white girl hair is not as pretty as we all think it is and if we all end up looking the same then this world is going to be pretty damn boring. Remember when we were all kids and our moms told us to love who we are and don't change for anybody? What ever happened to that because I thought it was a pretty good idea! So to all the beautiful women out there:

Brides do not have to be perfect and have perfect bodies. Your soon to be husband is marrying you because he loves you just as you are. Don't scare him away by becoming a bridezilla and expecting everything to be perfect because honey, it won't be. Just as we expect our men to exude confidence for us to think of them as sexy, they want you to love yourself as much as they love you. So ladies, rock your curves, tuck your saggy boobs into a push up bra and throw on some spanx! Your crooked nose and your crows feet are all a part of you and it is beautiful!

And the one that concerned me the most- to all of you beautiful African American ladies out there who are spending so much money on an Indian girls sacrifices or chemicals so that you can look like you have perfect hair... well wouldn't you rather be able to swim in a pool or let your man run his fingers through your hair? Ladies you are beautiful just as you are! Haven't you seen the little Sesame Street girl who sings about how she loves her hair? Show your daughters that her curls are wonderful and unique and rock! Now, I know I have never had to live with wild, hard to control hair (though I know some people who have) so maybe I don't have any room to talk. But let me just say this: I love the 70's female afro! And I love my man's dreadlocks! So I think that we all need to put that hard earned money into a savings account, put down the chemicals, look away from Tyra Banks' hair and show the world that not only do you love yourself just as God made you, but you also love you hair! And p.s. girls: very often I find I am jealous of your amazing facial features and fantastic God-given cheekbones! With such beautiful faces, cheekbones and eyes, who needs long hair?